Posted in 20 Personal identities and multiculturalism, Coursework

Tears and Ashes – A video in response to Dark days

The sheep looks ‘benign, at peace.” – John Ardwell Dark Days

Whilst I am supposed to look at John Adwell’s Dark Days the horrific events of the foot and mouth disease are just too disturbing to look at. Despite being an animal lover after living through the epidemic in Scotland I have no intention to even look at it nor would many I imagine.  I suppose that’s why the course included such an emotional image for those who wouldn’t go and look. Whenever I see that beautiful sheep, sleeping in a carnage of its dead family, looking peaceful and asleep, fat tears splash down on the picture. The photo is lost in a haze of tears. And that is the only way I will ever view such pictures, through eyes swollen with tears.

Therefore I did not click on the link.

Instead, I created a project of my own. I filmed myself writing this blog entry and wondered what to do with the video of me crying. To cry is a very soul-baring thing to do when you just can’t hold back the pain inside any longer. It was such an emotional video to create and I cry every time I watch it. Then I recorded my own account and played it over the video which I used free stock video from https://videos.pexels.com and some of my own to create a double exposure of fire and farm animals across my own face.

I’d appreciate any feedback. This is the first time I’ve used double exposure in a video. I edited it to create a high key effect, I feel it gives it an ethereal beauty, pure and innocent against the fire and death.

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I’ve seen that photo of the sheep multiple times while flicking through the course book. The first time I didn’t know what it was about and looked closer trying to see what was in the picture before recoiling as I saw both the dead sheep and the caption. Time and time again while flicking through the course I would see it and recoil. After not having seen it for several months and I approached that dreaded page I looked at the sheep and I’d seen it so many times it felt like a friend. I can’t describe the emotion it gives me when I see such an image. I wanted to create a project to show the trauma of such images so I recorded myself writing this post.

The foot and mouth disease is especially prevalent in my own memory as only a few months after we moved to Scotland the endemic began. I am so grateful that I was a child at the time so I have no strong recollection of it. All I remember is seeing occasional hazes of smoke staining the sky. Disinfecting our shoes on a countryside walk in the buckets left by every cattle grid and close fence. I was only eight, I knew vaguely of what was going on but the true horror was not known until I was much older. My strongest memory is of driving in the car playing in the back with my sister and noticing an old country track to a farm a heap of objects with smoke rising. It was only enough to trigger some curiosity but Mum’s strangled cries of, “Don’t look!” was enough to instil a sense of fear of what the objects were. “Why? Why what is it?” A typical child, I turned around wondering what it was but we were out of sight with Mum’s voice of “Girls don’t look, please don’t look,” echoing in my ears. Whilst some memories fade, this was one that will be in my mind forever.

I only need to ask my parents about that time and I see a white sheet of horror pass across their faces. My family lived through that horrific time but it is they who remember it and I can see how it’s haunted them.

Posted in 11 Psychogeography and 'edgleands', Coursework

Exercise 2.6: ‘Edgelands’

Exercise 2.6: ‘Edgelands’

Read ‘Wire’ and ‘Power’ from Edgelands (see ‘Online learning materials and student-led research’ at the start of this course guide). These short chapters will help prepare you for some of the themes in Part Three. Record your responses in your learning log.

Part Two concludes with a brief investigation into Psychogeography.  This brief exercise immediately changed the path of Assignment Two. I bought the book Psychogeography earlier in the unit and have been reading it and using it to approach my assignment especially in regards to Plan B of Assignment Six.

What I’m learning is that psychogeography is the social identity of a place, yet it is more than that, it’s said that that is merely the beginning of what it represents. When I first investigated the topic it seemed no-one had a definite answer as of its purpose, indeed it seems a mirror of the sublime, a concept that is felt yet not understood dwelling in a place of the unknown, whilst not as mystical as the sublime, it is an abstract thought, or idea. Psychogeography seems to be determined by two things, Derive and Flaneur.

Derive – It’s spontaneity, heading out into the wild with no plan, no idea of what you are seeking or wish to explore. Your surroundings and mind collaborate to guide your feet. The geography of the area, architecture, even the ambience. It seems almost an act of mindfulness, allowing your emotions to guide you, being in the present moment and feeling the world around you. Coupled with the flaneur, the character of the journey, the main protagonist, the psyche. I have the book on Edgelands and at first scrolled through it, waiting for deep insights on photography or photo graphical theory, I was confused as the book was devoid of such things. But it was not devoid of knowledge, the wonders and minutiae of life beautifully observed and translated through prose, the writing takes you to a place beyond the present moment. For myself, it was especially beautiful reading as I do notice all the precious things that go unnoticed in life, I always have. The bloom of colour across a dark moor, the delicate raindrops on a leaf, the little sparrows chittering in a twisted bramble on a road side, the tangled limbs surrounding it yet at the same time protecting it. Reading Edgelands I felt like home, sharing my experiences like a minded person.

From thoughts on the psychogeography, next in turn is the Edgelands. The definition seems to be areas on the edge, places of industry, where barbed wire snakes around abandoned military builds as in the series the Hush House by Frank Watson. His work was mentioned briefly in this unit and I explored his website. Watson captured images of abandoned buildings left over from the Cold war; the buildings squat, filling a void somewhere between man and nature, clashing with the environment yet somehow fitting in in a strange mix of worlds. It’s a place where mythology and legends breathe out of the walls into the mind, whipping it up into a raging sea of imagination. They remind me of prehistoric or alien beasts left over after an invasion. To come across one would be to envision the shadows in Plato’s cave, you would put your own imagination and stories to it, you wouldn’t see them as military bases but as alien tech from another world (as a note to self from the beginning of this course since I came across Plato’s cave theory in a book of philosophy I was intrigued, soon after I read it in Susan Sontag’s book in regards to photography; I will discuss this later as it’s quite easy to become diverted and whilst I have written of Plato’s cave in my learning log I haven’t yet posted a study here.

The Edgelands; they are not merely physically but also metaphysically, the place where there is a feeling of danger, a feeling of being a stranger in a distant world. Perhaps you could go as far to say they are uncanny, they are known, these places you pass in the car, our of the corner of your eye you see the pylons holding up snake like wires across the countryside, the overgrown verges, the wild brambles, dark ponds, things that both capture the imagination and deter bravery. They seem to be a place disconnected from the world of safety (to a degree) that we know, off the beaten path. In that respect it brings me back to my investigations of the Suicide Forest, the images I saw and the passages I read were so dark I keep coming back to them, like a one-way path that eventually makes you pass under the dark branches once more. There, you can visit the forest and stay on the path, but if you wander off the path then you will meet some grisly sights. Could the Edgelands, whilst appealing to the brave, or curious, also be a place for the lost to find some comfort.

In the passage, Wire, the authors write of the tiny details all linked to a place surrounded in wire on the Edgelands. They are the stories that are a part of our lives, the stories overlooked and the stories lost. The wire is a barrier yet at the same time it is a draw to those who want to close to it’s barrier for the thrill of danger. The Edgelands are a place of imagination and danger, fear and excitement. Brought up on horror stories of the past these stories and the wire become a part of people’s lives who live near there, beating each other to tell the worst stories, a cocktail of anxiety and bravado, each trying to outscare the other.

When the buildings were shut down and their insides left empty and devoid of life the wire remained. Left by history they are now anintriguingg echo of the past with the same feeling of fear, now they can get closer without a police car monitoring their movements but there is still that unrivalled sense of adreneline and fear, like going through a door marked no entry.

Journalist Frances Spalding wrote when reviewing Edgelands by Paul Farley and Michael Symmons Roberts, “We may drive past such places, or through them, in the security and warmth of an airtight car, but they get to us; they have “edge” and seem to challenge the way we live. This book’s authors astutely observe that “Beneath all our worldly dealing, all our getting and spending, run deep, unspoken channels, drumlins of guilt.”

I understand that feeling of guilt and I think it’s poignantly said, we all see these places with the abandoned shopping trolley and the dark pools clogged with litter, the hulking forms of pylons in an idyllic countryside but we pass by, feeling that guilt, yet not allowing it to the surface. It takes me back to Plato’s cave, when the prisoner finds their way out of the cave, sees reality as it is, their whole perception is changed and they can not go back to that life anymore.

As this point I’m seeing Edgelands as a place on the edge of life itself, it’s a place that we perhaps are aware is there but are quite happy to pass by, thought we feel the guilt in ourselves, we overlay it with positivity or distraction. We know this place is the back door to our reality. I didn’t coin the term back door, I came across in in a series of the Edgelands by the photographer, Tom Owens, he wrote, “every designated area of outstanding natural beauty has a back door to it.” For me, and my thoughts on the Edgeland, this sums it up perfectly, it is the back door to our lives, to go through it is to find a new pathway, something different. It could also be described as standing in a muddy puddle in a wasteland feeling miserable as rain pours into your shoes. But I’ve a feeling it’s a lot more special than that.

I feel motivated by my studies into the Edgelands, I feel that I haven’t done Assignment Two justice, capturing images of a beautiful river is aesthetically pleasing, but it doesn’t tie in with the dark themes of Assignment One, I look at it and like it but I feel like it stands alone as a project. I want to discover an Edgeland near where I live and I know just the place.

 

Posted in Assignment 6 ~ Transitions, Coursework

Assignment Six – Progress – Five Month mark

It has been four months since I placed the Playmobil house in the garden for Assignment Six, Transitions, showing how nature will reclaim everything back when humanity is gone. At the start of this project I wrote of my expectations on my Assignment preparation post here

  • That the house will slowly be choked with vegetation reminiscent of Chernobyl.
  • The furniture in the house will either be swept away, trapped inside or will become homes.
  • Insects and perhaps even mammals will use the place as a safe harbour. Maggots may thrive, spiders will decorate the walls and windows with their deadly art.

It felt a good time to reflect on the progress of the house and assess my own progress on what was working and what I could do better at.

Below is a slideshow of the transitions of the house over the four months.

MARCH

 

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APRIL

 

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MAY  I was away on holiday for a while and didn’t get any images of May 😦

JUNE

 

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JULY

 

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Nature is truly claiming back the house. It’s getting increasingly difficult to take photos especially in the same composition. Before I was able to stand on the little rock for a viewpoint, now I am blocked by all the foilage and plants that have grown up pushing me back as though to say it is natures house now.

It is astounding to see the diverse collection of plants and flowers that have been born and withered back to the ground in a matter of months. Every time I look a new plant has taken the place of the last. It is the definition of a transition, yet the transition is happening at an incredible pace.

I’m glad I focused on four specific elements. The house is the major point but I also photograph the table and radio, the interior and the childs bike everytime. The child’s bike is completely covered, I can only just see a glimpse of the wheel.

The table was knocked over after a month or so and the interior is clogged with thick leaves and black sludge and something that looks very unappealing.

I feel I should have captured an image every week as opposed to every month (I’m still trying to find out what happened to May) I need to organise better. So much has happened in such a short time and I feel I haven’t captured that. In future I will photograph every week so I can capture all the changes.

I will focus on capturing more artistic images and at different times, early morning, evening etc.

Posted in Assignment 6 ~ Transitions, Personal Projects, Research and Reflection

Snippets

I spent the afternoon pouring over the course reading material but find it very hard to keep focused as every artist I come across I want to investigate further. I decided purely to explore the ideas of those who related to the course or perhaps a faint link showing a contemporary or alternative view. I came across the photographer Sophie Calle who met a stranger twice in one day. The second time she bumped into the man she was so intrigued perhaps feeling this was fate. She found he was going to Venice. Any other person would presumably wished him well and hoped to see him around one day…Calle followed him there and proceeded to stalk him without his knowing.

My initial thinking was “How could she do that! How awful, how intrusive.” Yet then my second instinct (and I’m not proud to admit it) was a deep seated curisosity as to what the photos looked like, what happened, did he find out?  She searched for days where he was staying, contacting countless of hotels and even visiting the police. She found his hotel and somehow convinced someone to let her stay in the room opposite to photograph him at his window. Is she an artist in search of a story, a person in search of a purpose, or an unstable person showing disturbing behavior. I am prone to agree on the latter as she kept an intense diary noting every movement of both herself and her subject (victim) recreating his photos and even having her friends arrange to ‘bump’ into him. It is almost as though she isn’t feeling boundaries of human conduct. She is so immersed in this fantasty she has concocted that she has lost touch with reality.

It is such an intrusion of a persons privacy, it goes beyond street photography, beyond curiosity, it is deeply centered in the psychotic stalker area. And I would think illegal. I do not condone it but the curiosity of human nature is so intense so overwhelming that the natural instinct is to look. Perhaps that curiosity is very deeply seated in artists or those who thrive on their imagination. I discussed it with my father who said he wasn’t even interested to look at the photos, wouldn’t give the credit or time to even glance.

Her obsession started to resemble a drug addiction, she followed him everywhere, searching, building up a story around it…the more she follows (stalks) him the more she feels a deep connnection, she loves him, yet of course she can’t love him as she doesn’t even know him. And admitting you stalked someone is not the best way to start a relationship. Though the focus is on the man (mostly his back figure as he walks from the camera) and the character you should feel is his, it is really the artist herself who becomes the character to the viewers. In her miltiary like writings you feel her madness, the more she follows the more intense and over the edge she is pushed until a day when she doesn’t see him is a day twisted in torment. She dedicated herself to him, it’s a feeling of desperation but more than that it’s disturbing.

Many would argue she is a true artist, she is following her heart and her dream and perhaps my views would be seen unfavourably. The book which she published with these photos exposes human nature but it is frankly deeply unsettling and such an intrusion. Indeed she was eventually caught as he said, “You shouldn’t have got too close, I recognised your eyes.” How must he have felt to have been stalked across a continent, through streets. How did it impact his life? There is no doubt in my mind that omething like that would have changed a person and left more than a hint of paranoia.

As I’d spent time studying her monograph I felt I should bear reference to it within the course. I headed to the seafront with the idea of photographing people, not in an intrusive stalker way, merely as you would in street photography, I had the idea of taking photos then threading a narrative between the photos of unconnected people.

Yet when it came to it, I couldn’t take a single photo. Here were people laughing, chatting, flying kites and eating ice creams. I couldn’t and wouldn’t intrude on their lives without their permission. The unsettling feeling of  Calle’s photography had hung over me like a sticky black net, I had the feeling I was being stalked, that I was stalking even though neither was true (well the latter definitely, see I’m still paranoid) I put my camera down and instead picked up my pen. I was absentmindedly drawing and reading ‘PsychoGeography’ while snippets of conversation of passers bay wafted into the car.

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“Psychogeography is the point at which Psychology and Geography collide, a means of exploring the behavioral impact of an urban place.”  Psychogeography – Merlin Coverley. 

“Oh I couldn’t believe it when…”

I looked up from my book as the people passed by out of ear shot. What couldn’t they believe? Just those two words had me hooked. An idea (a non-stalkerish idea) began forming in my mind. For the next hour I noted down the snippets of conversation I heard, I didn’t hear the beginning of many and the ending always remained defiantly absent as they went out of ear shot. I was like trying to listen underwater, focusing on specific words my imagination struggling to fill in the gaps.

I gathered these words together, took a photo of the view from the car and overlayed the incomplete sentences over the image, thus creating the character or psychogeography of the area through the very words of those who inhabit them. Some are humorous, some nonchalant, some are mere comments, arguments, but all give an insight into the person and the area in which they inhabit.

Ohh that one...do you remember, there was such a hoo ha it went

I sought to find a name for my project, Ellipsis.. (as every sentence trailed away) Snatches (I was still feeling slightly paranoid and this seemed to promote negative connotations) Whispers was also an idea.

In the end, I decided to call my project ‘Snippets‘ as that was the word I used to describe it as I wrote this post. I’m aware I am racking up too many personal projects but this is something I feel quite passionate about and would like to explore further. You can see the words where they were spoken filling in the gaps for the absence of people. You don’t need to see the people in the photo because you get a glimpse of their character just by the words streaming past and I feel it shows the psychogeography of the area. I’d like to go to several areas and document it. Perhaps it could even be a back up for Assignment Six, Transitions. To show how a place changes throughout the months, how does the conversation alter with the landscape. Are people happier in the Summer and more down in Winter, what age group will be there more and can you tell that from the writing. The physical transition will also be possible to see. Though I intend to stick with my transitions of the Playmobil house in the garden and how nature is rapidly taking it over I will endeavour to include Snippets in my assignments somewhere.

Any thoughts on this would be very much appreciated.

Posted in 07 The road, Assignment 2 - Preparation, Assignment 2 ~ A journey, Coursework, Research and Reflection

Assignment Two – Contextualisation

I feel I’ve really found the pathway or waterway I wish to take for Assignment Two. I’m so passionate about it, the images are quite different to my usual style yet it is the different images, such as the abstracts that I feel most connected to. I will research some photographers who photograph wide open places in an abstract way.

I do plan to return but perhaps I will return with the same lens. Or perhaps I will just see where the wind takes me and the assignment. With my photography, I had a different lens and that enabled me to experiment and create images I wouldn’t usually. Now I feel very drawn to the abstract portrayal of a landscape. Is abstract photography the onomatopoeia of the photography world? I remember my joy as a GCSE student to discover onomatopoeic words such as ‘crunch, crackle, fizz’ that perfectly imitate the sounds of the words they are describing. I only need to read the word crunch and instantly I feel as though I am hearing someone walking on dry leaves or chomping through their breakfast cereal. And in that respect, abstract photography captures the details, the sounds, the feelings of that place. Perhaps not all abstracts, some may be to challenge the perception, to tell stories but in regards to my assignment, I feel these images below that I captured, illustrate the feeling and senses of the river trip.

 

ABSTRACT PHOTOGRAPHY – Contextualisation 

Nadav Kander created a series of images for his book, Dust where he photographed abandoned and restricted areas wrought by the desolation of man creating photos that are an oxymoron, they are devoid of people yet they are seeped in humanity, their very essence and destruction and responsibility is tied to humanity.  Two small towns that Kander photographed, Kurchatov and Priozersk were not even known until Google Earth discovered them.

He heads his work with the stanza from TS Elliot’s poem ‘The Wasteland’

‘I will show you fear in a handful of Dust’ TS Elliot

I’ve read many thoughts on the meaning of this line, but just like art, poetry is subjective and one meaning may not resonate with another. My personal opinion of this quote in regards to his photography is the dust and the ashes of the place that have been destroyed or been left to rot by man, “I will show you fear” your mind is consumed by what has gone before, here is a handful of dust of all that is left. Let your terrified imagination fill in the terrible gaps. Yet could the quote also be taken to mean, you may be terrified of the world and the darkness and the huge scheme of things but I will show you the fear in the little things, in a handful of dust.”

Illustrating a series with a poem brings me back to my own assignment, I referred to my river trip with Robert Frost’s poem, ‘The Road not Taken‘. Perhaps I myself should illustrate my journey with a poem (written by myself) In fact the more I think about it, the more the rhythm of the river seems to echo the words of poetry. As in the poem Limbo, a powerful tale of the African slaves, the poem echoes with repetition until you feel you are almost swaying with the backbreaking rhythm of the boat as the slaves work the oars.

 

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Photograph by Nadav Kander

 

 

One of the images on his website that grabbed me is reminescent of an abstract painting, a blur of blue and sienna, the raw colours of nature. The image is split into two layers, the sky and the earth, both whipping by as though as though you are viewing it from a moving vehicle. It feels like two stripes of paint, a unity of the sky and earth with no details or barriers to disrupt the rhythm. “My landscapes are really honed to the palm print of man, mans effects on their surroundings…it’s really about the endeavour of man which is behind those pictures.

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Photo by Brett Weston

Brett Weston – He captures the landscape around him in such a flawless abstract style, taking a small square from a vast place and making that the main  His images remind me of the mantra in Rudyard Kiplings, ‘The Jungle Book‘ The strength of the pack is the wolf, but the strength of the wolf is the pack.” So as to say, he takes a very small portion of a vast landscape, turns it on its head to show the small portion is just as powerful as the landscape around him. The landscape draws its power from the details yet the details draw the power from the landscape. The undulating waves of the desert rising like tumultuous waters of the deep. His images can appear as multiple things at once, Is it trees and branches jutting out of still waters, or reflections of overhanging trees. Or are they bent and warped pieces of iron filing or paperclips, a modern piece of art.

Franco Fontana

I first came across Franco Fontana’s wonderful images whilst watching Masters of Photography where Fontana was a judge. Some of the wisdom he offered was so powerful that it has buried itself deep into my mind and often speaks those words in moments when I am studying. I wrote about him here  His images pack a punch of intense colour, the saturation so powerful you can almost taste it. I love the way he sees the landscape, in bands of colours, seeking out the beautiful masterpieces created by nature. Indeed his mantra is ‘to make the invisible visible’

 

 

 

 

Posted in Assignment 2 - Preparation, Coursework, Part Two ~ Landscape as journey, Research and Reflection

Assignment Two Preparation

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After my studies of Exercise 2.2 and my study of the road in the form of an ocean, I took a trip to the local nature reserve, Martin Mere. Created by the WWT which was in turn founded by Peter Scott, an incredible man and a wonderful naturalist responsible for bringing back many species from the edge of extinction such as the Hawaiian goose, which now populates Martin Mere. There are several centres around Great Britain but I am lucky in that this one is not far from home.

I took many photos as I plan to enter the WWT annual photography competition.

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I headed to the dock nestled deep inside the woodland where I proceeded to take a rowing boat on a guided tour through the reedbeds. The boat man, a cheerful volunteer provided a fascinating narrative as we drifted slowly through the waterway. I knew instantly as we glided softly away from the sounds of the duck filled ponds and into a still silence that this was the place I wanted to use for Assignment Two, my only regret, I had chosen to take my 80mm lens (due to the heavy rain as we left I had decided to leave my other lenses safe at home)  therefore I didn’t have the right lense for landscape shots. However, what dicattes that only certain lenses can capture specific things, why can’t a portrait lens be used for landscape? Perhaps I should use all the images that I took that day to provide a different insight. Certain things were harder to photograph, landscapes, for example, yet other opportunities arose that would perhaps not have been presented with another lens. For instance these two abstract images. IMG_9416.JPGIMG_9419.JPG

I hung over the edge of the boat as several mallards swam alongside for secretive swishes of bird seed I offered who unsurprisingly followed us the entire way. There were so many pathways and we reached a part in the river where the water parted and led down two routes. It reminded me of Robert Frost’s poem ‘The Road not Taken’

“Two roads diverged in yellow wood, and I

I took the one less travelled by,

And that has made all the difference.”
It is a poem about a man who is faced with two roads, one is worn with footprints and broken branches, and the other clearly has not been used much. He ponders which to take and eventufully decides on the one less travelled by. We do not know whether the difference it has made is good or positive, what happened on the path, where it led him or even whether it’s a physical path or a choice in something less physical.
In CBT they say how your mind believes what you think and the more you keep going down the same path the more you will get trapped in a vicious circle. But to step out of the trampled grass and to cut away into some new grass will provide a different route, a way out which will soon become the way your mind naturally thinks.
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We faced the two routes before heading down the left side one. It was eerily quiet, yes eerie doesn’t somehow seem the right word, it was still, it was beautiful, so mindful just the gentle hum of the boats engine and the sound of the ducks cutting through the water while the marsh grasses grew taller than us occasionally waving their arms in our faces.
This was what my tutor had recommended, just getting out there, going on a journey somewhere, just me, my camera and my imagination and to see what happened, no prior research of the area, just spontaneity and a camera.
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I would love to return with my 18-125mm lens and my iPhone and capture some landscape shots to add to the selection. But perhaps with regard to my thoughts above I will just stick to my 80mm images.
I better put my head down and start thinking.
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Posted in 07 The road, Coursework

Exercise 2.2 Explore a Road

Exercise 2.2: Explore a road

  1. Whether you live in an isolated village or a city centre, roads are something we all have in common. Make a short series of photographs about a road near where you live. You may choose to photograph the street you live or work on, or another nearby. How you choose to approach this task is your decision, but use this exercise to develop the observational skills that will be challenged in Assignment Two. The objective is to try to think about something that is familiar to you in a different way. You don’t need to make any preparations for this exercise. Work intuitively, and try not to labour the exercise. Compile a digital contact sheet from your shoot and evaluate your work, identifying images of particular interest – to you or, potentially, to a wider audience.

I was inspired by  Chris Coekin’s monograph The Hitcher and how he shot with only a cheap compact camera. It made me think about the freedom you have when you shoot with something very simple, whilst I love shooting with my DSLR there’s nothing like an iPhone or compact cameras to get those shots that you couldn’t, especially in street photo -journalism where you don’t necessarily want to be pointing a giant camera conspicuously at someone. His journey is both a physical journey but also a personal journey, emotionally and metaphysical, the viewer also experiences a different type of journey, almost like they are accompanying Coekin on his great journey. It is so much more than a simple hitchhiking journey but a story of humanity.

The course said not to spend long on planning and work intuitively. The only preparation for this exercise, therefore, was scouting a location and deciding which camera to use. With my studies of ‘The Hitcher,’ in mind, I decided to photograph this exercise using both my DLSR Canon EOS60D with the 50mm lens (perfect to replicate human vision) and my iPhone.

I was a little confused at first as to whether I was doing right, ever since I was a young child I have loved and noticed all the details and little things, forever stopping to photograph leaves and cracks in a wall. So as this is what I naturally do I wondered whether I was doing it correctly. Was I looking deeper enough, or should I not be scrutnising everything so closely?

I chose a stretch of the road that I have never ever ventured on. There are in fact so many places I have never visited close to where I live because of my debilitating illness, even being in the mobility scooter causes a lot of pain and exhaustion but with my new treatment, I was well enough to explore somewhere a different. At first, it was a path I’d been on once but as we journeyed deeper suddenly we came to the beginning of a new path. A path I’d never even walked on. Whilst before I was enjoying seeing all the little things suddenly everything was so fresh, like walking from the dark into the light. Or seeing as it was the unknown, perhaps it was more walking from the light into the dark.

Below is my thumbnail of DLSR and iPhone images.

DSLR

iPhone (frustratingly my iPhone went flat before I reached the final destination)

 

To choose three from the two sets I think these were the most successful images.

DSLR

iPhone

I just feel the wire wrapped around the trees makes me feel like I’m standing on the edge of something and I want to know what lies beyond deeper in the forest.

As you can see I had more freedom with the phone to photograph people, though I got braver and did some back shots with the DSLR.I still feel like I didn’t do this exercise justice. I was focusing too much on what was expected of me instead of simply enjoying taking photos for the sheer enjoyment and discovery. I was constantly thinking what people would think, why is she photographing a feather, that’s terrible composition, that’s overexposed. I have never felt this before and I’m unsure. Why am I suddenly feeling this stigma and almost becoming camera shy? This awareness of what I’m doing is even affecting my photography whereas before I’ve happily gone up to people and asked to photograph them and produced results I’m happy with. I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m overthinking things, I just need to, like my tutor says, have fun. So that’s what I’m going to do. I’m going on a mobility scooter walk with my elderly adopted Auntie today so I will take photos to enjoy myself and compare the two when I return home.

In between the shoot above and the one with my Auntie I came across Maria Plotnikova.

Maria Plotnikova is a beautiful story teller and street photographer capturing the seen and the unseen of the streets of South America. It feels to me like she is just a passer by, immersed in the action, perhaps noticed by few but capturing images that document peoples lives on an emotional level. I especially love her use of shadows. Shadows and silhouettes are something I often seek out as well as the power of light in nature, the way beams illuminate the elaborate mazes and labyrinths of a leaves structure noticed only by those who stand underneath them. She uses crowded street scenes to highlight the smallest of details that go unnoticed.

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Rosario, Argentina, 2012 © Maria Plotnikova

This is really inspiring as whenever I go anywhere that is exactly what I do notice, I may not notice the obvious, what the friend I’m meeting is where, but I’ll notice the dappled shadows on their feet caused by the perforated table acting as a stencil for the sun. Or I’ll notice the most beautiful and tiny spider on my hand creating an iridescent silk hot air before watching it being carried away by the soft wind.

 

 

Posted in Assignment 1 ~ Beauty and the sublime, Assignments, Coursework

Assignment One – Beware the Witches Fingers

Assignment One – The Witches Fingers

Chloe Halstead –

 The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science.” Albert Einstein

Through imitation of Rorschach inkblots and fear I have portrayed my interpretation of the sublime through an alternate landscape, my fear landscape focusing on Freud’s theory of the Uncanny. A fear landscape in a physical landscape.

Choosing a theme

Like the growth of a tree reaching branches into new possibilities, Assignment One has grown with each topic I read. Psychoanalysis and Freud’s theory of the Uncanny, ‘Das Unheimliche’ was briefly mentioned in the course, I was curious and investigated in detail.

Heimliche, a German word, means ‘familiar’, ‘homely’ a place of ‘comfort or ‘reassurance.’ The antonym, Das Unheimliche is eerie or unsettling. The uncanny is a feeling of unease or fear when an object that is familiar appears at the same time, paradoxically, frightening and unsettling. Like seeing your home at night without the lights, it is both familiar yet the dark generates fear.

As a small child the branches of trees reached out like gnarled witches fingers, I felt they would pluck me from the world. I have a great love of trees, yet even now they create faces or shapes igniting that childhood fear once more, something that is unfamiliar and familiar at the same time. Heimliche can mean secret or hidden and Unheimliche is ‘revealed’ or ‘exposed’ a new level is revealed to us of great discomfort. There is fear in the unknown.

Relating to the unconscious mind Psychoanalysis enters an almost fantasy world, nightmares, dreams and other tools recover deeply hidden roots from childhood which I wrote about here. The Rorschach test uses inkblots to discover a patient’s character, thoughts and fears depending on what they see.

I was disposing of a blurred photo when I felt the trees emulated inkblots. I showed a family member who seemed to feel the uncanny. I was surprised at how unnerved they felt as they saw monsters in the innocent branches.

Fieldwork

I decided to challenge myself to replicate the inkblots through the trees, yet so as not to be one-dimensional I included other images, manifesting the trees as they appeared in my imagination. Monochrome lent itself to the darker workings of a fear landscape. Shooting B&W in camera I saw the world differently, new possibilities opened up, like following a rabbit into Wonderland. The trees were different, foreboding, taking me back to my childhood fear landscape I was depicting. The uncanny was around me.

I experimented with a variety of techniques

Intentional camera movement at slow shutter to create the effect the trees were moving, thrashing!

  • Swirling the camera during exposure. A twisted Hitchcock style image.
  • Using negative space of the canopy to form the blots
  • Different angles to increase drama
  • Use of water, ripples to distort and confuse.

Conclusion

While risky, I feel this has worked. Paul Fry a Professor of English described in a lecture how to encounter the sublime, was to be ‘possessed by experience…to become aware of the imagination.” My images use the uncanny, to allow the imagination to possess the subconscious to see shapes, faces, monsters or dreams. It fills in gaps as it does when people view the Marsyas Installation, a gigantic sculpture filling an entire gallery space, so huge one can not see it in its entirety so are forced to create their own interpretation in their mind. The unseen becomes seen in the negative space.

I didn’t want to emulate the inkblots exactly or I’d have created them from ink myself. I feel I have set out and conveyed my interpretation of the sublime, the images are dark, the black and white images complement each other, and they depict something familiar in an unfamiliar way. They are portholes to areas of the subconscious drawing them out from hiding. I want the viewer to see my fear yet find their own depictions of their lives. Everyone has something that scares us and when faced with something unsettling it has an inherent and inevitable way of being incarnated into the real world. Pareidolia is a psychological phenomenon where people see faces in ordinary objects. A study found that the mind is constantly searching for faces and will generate them in any object or situation and I believe you can see such faces in my photos.

I had planned on including several fears but I feel it has worked better to depict just the one. I had to choose between focusing on the trees as ink blots or the trees themselves as witches fingers coming out of the ground and decided to merge both of them into the series which worked with the uncanny and my study into psychoanalysis.

Fear is something everyone shares. I asked others their fears and was fascinated to see the mixture of fears both rational such as the fear of being attacked by dogs after such an encounter or the way the imagination creates scenarios out of the most innocent of objects such as the fear of doorknobs. How something that once inspired fear now inspires happiness is an interesting phenomenon, from an agreeable horror to an appreciation of the sublime as something awesome and to be respected, it shows how life changes, thoughts differ and everything is in continuous movement.

Here is a diagram  (from my physical learning log) showing the direction the assignment took. All the rest of the pages are in my last post  End of Part One +Physical Learning Log 

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FINAL IMAGES

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The witches fingers echoed ominously in the dark still waters of Scotland. This is my favourite of the set, it has a sinister feel, you don’t feel like wandering too close to the water’s edge.
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Reminiscent of the walking trees in Lord of the Rings and a Monster Calls the low viewpoint is quite evocative of my childhood fear. Arms hurled outwards, a distorted face, it’s the epitome of my nightmares. It also feels like the fearsome Wickerman.
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I wrote on my learning log here about the terrorizing images of Joshua Hoffine in his series ‘Basement’ (the word itself capable of producing such images) and said “ I notice that whilst he uses graphic images that leave nothing for the imagination, these images are shocking but the ones are that are more permeable are those that are suggestions. The silhouette of a clown against the sheet in the garden with the disillusioning bright balloons just visible. The arms creeping out from the back of the couch.” With this in mind I shot the photo below, the trees reflect like the ink blots in the still water yet a hand reaches out, just like the witches my childhood imagination generated from the trees did. This is possibly my favourite image of the set as it is so dark and intensely different to my usual standard of images.
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With horrific hairstyles the trees stare down. Shooting in vertical extended the tree trunk. As you look up the trunk you suddenly realise it’s not just you who is looking closely.
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The trees look almost serpentine, thrashing and writhing; emulating the Rorschach ink blots, I introduced deliberate camera movement during the exposure. It feels evocative of Caspar Friedrichs ‘Tree of Crows’ I couldn’t decide whether the image had too much motion blur but it was the image that started the assignment for me.
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Glancing up at the canopy I saw forms and shapes! Just like the ink blots the imagination uses the negative space to unviel the unseen. Does what you see depict your thoughts and characters. I see a wolf, my mother saw a witch, my sister saw a grotesque face and my father saw a nose!
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A wolf ‘s head seems very clear to me here. Jikta Hanzlová’ used negative space in her woodland images yet focusing on the land whereas mine features the canopy shapes. I’m aware it’s similar to the above image but couldn’t decide on which, I thought I would ask my tutor for advice.

IMG_7884 3The trees get closer and closer swirling and writhing creating shapes out of their flailing limbs.

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The thick black silhouettes emulate the ink blots.

 

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This time the tree branches are photographed in the pond, the water distorts the defined image.
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This image was added at the last moment when I was searching for an image that was different. This looks like a sylph plunging into the depths, but why they are diving in such dark waters are unknown and distinctly eerie!  There are all sorts of mysterious forms in the water (an eye here or panda face there) but I will leave the rest to be discovered by the viewer’s  imagination!